Sarah Defies Gravity

what one little chromosome taught me about love, life, and defying gravity.

The C-Word

I know people have been checking the blog hoping for something bigger than the vague updates I’ve given on BBC, and I kept putting it off and putting it off, all morning, all afternoon. I told myself “after you phone the grandparents, then you put it on your blog” and I just kept procrastinating.

Sarah has been sick for a bit, and was admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics. Due to the symptoms she was presenting, they opted to do a LP to rule out something more sinister.

Well, something more sinister decided it needed to work its way into our lives. It looks like we’re going to be here for awhile.

I’ve always been so thankful for Sarah’s good health. Gloated, even. What an idiot I was.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.


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16 thoughts on “The C-Word

  1. Rebecca on said:

    Oh Chris, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t aware that Sarah was sick. I’ll be keeping the three of you in my thoughts!

  2. Beth on said:

    I am really sorry Christopher. I hope things start to look better for your family soon! (Found you from BBC, I’m ElizabethC9)

  3. I haven’t seen anything on BBC, so I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I’m not sure what the C-Word is, I was definitely expecting something else. I’m thinking about you and your family.

    • Lindsay on said:

      Oh no! Prayers for your family. I am so inspired by you and your blog. I believe Sarah is amazingly strong and can beat this. I will be thinking about you guys even more.

  4. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this news. You will all be in my prayers for your sweet, sweet girl.

  5. Kari on said:

    I’m so sorry! I’ve been checking here and on BBC hoping for better news. You are not an idiot – thank goodness you listened to your daddy instinct and had her tested – hopefully you caught this very very early. Please know I’m praying for all of you!

  6. Oh Chris.. My heart goes out to you, Dec, and Sarah. I know that little diva of yours is so very strong. You are all in my thoughts and my prayers, and if there is ANYTHING (even ordering food long-distance) your DS family can do, do NOT hesitate to ask.

  7. Crying, but praying through the tears.

  8. Erin on said:

    I have been appreciating you anonymously for a while; you pulled me in from Baby Center with your words and your spirit. When I saw your update yesterday, I thought this was where things were heading and my internal monologue was similar to your closing statement. For what it’s worth, my thoughts are with you and your family.

  9. I’m so infinitely sorry that your family has this scary thing to deal with now. This was certainly one time I’ve prayed for parental instincts to be wrong, but I’m very glad that you followed your instincts on contacting the doctor. Prayers for Sarah, you and Dec.

  10. Erika on said:

    Strength and peace to you all-Dec, Sarah and you.

  11. Mary Ellen on said:

    I found your blog last October thru the 31 for 21 site and have been a regular reader ever since. Malcolm was diagnosed with the C-word when he was 20 months old but his health is great now – 3.5 years old and C-word free for over a year. I’m not sure what type Sarah has but if it is AML (they may also call it MDS or AMKL) you might like to read Malcolm’s blog at In one of the older posts, I list about a half dozen other blogs written by parents of kids with Ds and AML. Always remember – you care more about Sarah and know her better than any of the doctors, nurses, or other healthcare providers who will be involved in her life. Never be afraid to speak up. Never be afraid to say no. Stay strong. You can do this. Best wishes,

    Mary Ellen

  12. Mary Ellen on said:

    I managed to leave you the wrong blog address. It should be:

  13. falloutmommy on said:

    Christopher – I have seen you around on the DT and saw your post today about needing comfort. After reading your blog I can see why! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that this will end up being a nasty bump in the road for a long and healthy life for Sarah.

  14. Oh Christopher. I’m so sorry to read about Sarah and the c-word. Fuck cancer, indeed.

    You, Dec and Sarah are in my prayers.

    Beth (pieralella)

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