Sarah Defies Gravity

what one little chromosome taught me about love, life, and defying gravity.

So Glad You Are a Child Of Mine

Although you see the world different than me

Sometimes I can touch upon the wonders that you see

In all the new colors and pictures you’ve designed

Oh yes, sweet darling, so glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine, oh yes sweet darling, so glad you are a child of mine

You don’t need direction, you know which way to go

And I don’t wanna hold you back, I just wanna watch you grow

You’re the one who taught me you don’t have to look behind

Oh yes, sweet darling, so glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine, oh yes sweet darling, so glad you are a child of mine

Nobody’s gonna kill your dreams or tell you how to live your life

There’ll always be people who make it hard for awhile but you’ll change their heads when they see you smile

The times you were born in may not have been the best, but you can make the times to come better than the rest

I know you will be honest if you can’t always be kind

oh yes, sweet darling, so glad you are a child of mine

Child of mine, child of mine, oh yes sweet darling, so glad you are a child of mine.

– Carole King, “Child of Mine”

My mother used to sing that song to me when I was very little, and I always assumed I would sing it to my children, too, because it’s a sweet sentiment. I just never realized how much of it would apply after Sarah was born.

Sometimes it still blows me away, five months in, how much having a child with special needs changes your life, your perspective, everything. Not in bad ways. For the most part, anyway. Just changes things. Knocks you on your ass, so to speak. There’s so much that I took for granted and never even thought about before Sarah was born, and then she came along and changed everything, including the way I hear this song.

To me, it fits so perfectly to celebrate Sarah’s extra chromosome, especially “although you see the world different than me”, “there’ll always be people who make it hard for awhile”, and “I don’t wanna hold you back, I just want to watch you grow” and, to be honest, when I asked my mother to send me a copy of the song so I could learn the words, I had a moment, and for once it wasn’t a wallowing-in-self-pity, I-wish-my-child-didn’t-have-Down-Syndrome!!!!!!!! moment. It was a moment of, ironically, “I’m so glad my child has Down Syndrome”. A rush of love for her not only in spite of that little bit of wayward genetic material, but also because of it.

It might sound strange, but I’m glad Sarah has Down Syndrome. I’m glad that I was given the opportunity to be the parent of such a remarkable little human being. I’m sometimes frustrated that I can’t talk to parents of “normal” kids and compare my kid with theirs, but mostly, right now, I’m in a good place. I am so glad, as the song says, that she is a child of mine.

My boyfriend told me today that he would only consider having a second child if he could somehow guarantee that they would have Down Syndrome too. Considering that I was the one who wanted children and he didn’t, this is a big deal!

I need to do a post soon about his relationship with Sarah. That has been one of my favorite things about this process, and I think that another one of the millions of reasons why I’m glad Sarah and her extra chromosome are part of my world is because of her profound relationship with Dec, and because of how much she changed, for the better, my relationship with Dec.

(of course, it also serves to hurt like hell that he’s going away in only two short months. December seems so fucking close and May seems so far away. That, too, is another post for another time.)

 

 


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One thought on “So Glad You Are a Child Of Mine

  1. To some ‘I’m glad my child has D.S” may sound odd. If I were some random reader who has never had the opportunity to talk to you and read other things you’d said about various things, I’d think you’d fallen off your rocker. But for whatever it is worth, I ‘know’ you and understand what you’re saying.
    I also think you’re a very strong man.

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